HEY KIDS!

The Blogger Song (to the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad"

I've been posting on the weblog
All the blig blog blay
I've been typing on my weblog
Just to stick my head in blog
Blogger, mutherfuckin' blogger
blog, blog, blog, blog, blooooog!

(repeat last two lines)

This hereby completes my two-birds-one-stone contract with blogger.com and satan.

My Roommate James' Rather Apt Impersonation of Me as a Child

In a whiny, squeaky voice: "myeargh.. . I'm erik. .. myeargh. . .I like Tang."

one US official in Kabul said,"Mistakes happen." fuck this war.

nice

this little flash movie was such a breath of fresh air. it took me back to a time in my childhood, when life was pure, and all the right bumper insects were congenial and innocuous. quite unlike the malevolently voluminous inhabitants of the local swamps and cesspools these days. what's the opposite of a guilty pleasure? innocent pleasure doesn't sound right. well anyway. . . with the amount of truly objectionable flash movies i've seen that don't rise above foul language, fouler imagery, and decapitations that don't appear to be central to any narrative (all of which this site is, admittedly, not entirely above), it made my heart glad to see this giantbee. many props to its creators.

i had been on the bus for nearly seven hours at this point, mind you, and we had travelled through four states, not, like, steps or perceptions, but like, united. the bus pulled up to one of its scheduled stops in the middle of nowhere, which the locals called Blountstown. i was powerfully thirsty so i went to grab a cold soda from a vending machine, and as i attempted to reboard the bus, the driver stopped me.
"boarding pass?"
"what?"
he reiterated.
"i don't have it. i left it in my jacket pocket. . .on the bus."
"sorry, but i can't let you on without a boarding pass."
"but i've been on the bus for, like, seven hours," i exasperated,"are you serious?"
"yes i am, sir."
"well ask them," i pleaded, pointing to the other passengers watching this exchange,"even if you don't recognize me, i'm sure one of them will."
the driver stepped back aboard and shut the whushing, pneumatic doors behind him. i could see him mouthing the inquiry and pointing at me from inside. simultaneously all the passengers looked at me from inside the bus. to help them out i pointed at my face and raised my eyebrows. i could tell this wasn't working so i gestured more broadly, looking specifically at the man i had been sitting next to and had exchanged customary banter with concerning our respective points of origin and final destinations. he, along with the rest of the passengers, merely turned their heads back to the driver and either shook out a "no" or said as much.
the driver looked back at me with a self-satisfied glare in his eyes, and sat back down to pull out.
being an atheist, i don't pray often. i think this is because even in times like these god refuses to grant me something as simple as a pipe bomb.

tada!

big shit, eh? under goading from friends and some personal interest i have finally come around. seeing as how every choice or decision i've made lifelong was completely incorrect, i expect that this page will result similarly. oh shit! i was right! oh well. i will do my best to entertain.