senile poetry

My 3rd section German professor is Herr Bragg. He is a small, shriveled, prune-looking fellow that has got to be at least 70 years old, if not 90. All his clothes hang about him as if he were playing dress up in his father's closet if his father were a foot taller than he. He speaks in silly, exaggerated voices, most notably that of the classic "school marm", and he is incapable of directly answering any question put to him. We don't learn shit in his class, but it's not all bad. He customarily writes out several sentences in English for us to translate, many of which don't make any kind of sense, or are merely very, very creepy, or silly. I picked some of my favorites of these sentences to share them with you here:

• The can would break in their pocket if they were ashamed.
  
• A fire would break out if they telephoned us.
  
• They have had the fullest enjoyment of our more interesting beverage.
  
• I have felt something alive against my face.
  
• The member who collects children is spending the future here.
  
• Whoever has the protection of a housewife can be very proud.
  
• We have lost a part of the soup.
  
• We will celebrate with the family which has won nothing.

See what I mean? I can't wait to meet some German people so I can put these to good use!