do you ever have the kind of day where you just want to come home, crank up the elliot smith, eat a whole box of little debbie zebra cakes, and fill your left eye with so much smack that you forget all about questions like,"what was your business in the crackhouse district?", "were you acquainted with the victim?", or,"how exactly, then, did your wallet get in his stomach?"?

a resolution: anyone who ever says to me, "If I had to do it all over, I would do it exactly the same," is getting a direct kick in the balls. Then, hopefully, they will at least regret having said that shit to me.

i maad a nu yeers rezulooshin thet ai woud b obsolootlee sirtin not wch pokymun sewberun ai hav bben faathfil tew et bot llllllast for ssho"s hev hed t huph cloorocks fr no othr drg n mai reetch and teh fut holz moor then all floars an brite voyzes yalling jiglypufjiglypufjiglypuf bsut stoppe fzzy haat teem rocit

baby. . .you know i would only volunteer you for the best beads around, and when the parade comes through, my shoulders are where you will sit. i will not only buy our beers tonight, baby, but i will hold yours when you show that man with the camera dem titties. when you have to puke i hold your hair, and when you hunker down between those parked cars to pee i will stand a most vigilant watch.
baby. . . i don't know anything about words like 'gentleman' or 'chivalry', but whatever you want to call it, it's alive and well here in new orleans.

i am so sorry about the dearth of updates recently. when mardi gras comes around in tandem with our dsl going all screwy, well. . . i just feel awful. don't think i haven't been thinking about you and your needs. i just can't imagine you sitting at home, office, or opium den and thinking, "erik used to love me? what gives?" as this post will hopefully prove, my little hands have not been idle. i can't even begin to tell you all the things that i have seen in the past week. i think the best way to describe what happened here is that when the comet on the collision course with earth is discovered to be undestructible and incapable of being diverted (most likely due to some bureaucratic oversight involving a un resolution vetoed by the us, britain, and israel), every major city will look exactly like this. there may be a few more fires and corpses littering the streets, but that would really be the only difference. it is nice to see every tree and powerline covered in cheap chinese plastic, though.